"In his house at Ulduar, dead Vezax waits dreaming."

"Form feet and legs; form arms and body; and I'll form the head!"

Only one keeper and the insane-o guys left. Excellent work this past week everyone.

After some interesting bugs where bosses don't respawn between attempts and the instance server booting our whole raid offline, Auriaya and Hodir are down.

Killing stuff faster than we can come up with interesting stories. Good work everyone.

Race cars, proto-drakes, and exercising robots. Fun times.

A serious disturbance at a psychiatric hospital has been quelled after Malygos, The Guardian of Magic, and several inmates caused a disruption to hospital operations late in the evening.

Staff at the Eye of Eternity medical center, located in Borean Tundra, were forced to withdraw for their own safety in the late hours of the night, a spokesperson confirmed.

Malygos, who had recently been hospitalized over bouts of depression and grief, had been responding well to treatments. "News of Azeroth's spellcasters reckless use of arcane magic seemed to throw him into a panic." a hospital worker stated.

Emergency services were called after the disturbance broke out and contingency plans within the center were rapidly put in place. A task force of ten individuals were able to eventually subdue Malygos. Alexstrasza The Life-Binder, representative of the dragon aspects at Wyrmrest Temple was quoted as saying "This resolution pains me deeply, but the destruction - the monumental loss of life - had to end. Regardless of Malygos's recent transgressions, I will mourn his loss."

I'm sure once our official news poster is back from hiatus we'll have something better up here. Until then, this quick note saying we killed stuff will do just fine.

Outland's beloved stage and screen actor, Illidan Stormrage, member of the Firewing Actor's Guilds (FAGs), was murdered today during an on-stage performance, by his on-again, off-again "girlfriend", Maiev Shadowsong, whom he recently filed a restraining order against citing alleged "stalker" behavior.

Standing at the Temple Summit of Black Temple, Illidan had been reciting his monologue for Act 5, Scene 1 of Sylvan Drakespear's "Shamlet", clutching onto The Skull of Gul'dan, reciting:

"Alas, poor Gul'dan! I knew him, Akama; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now?"

According to eye-witness accounts from the 25-member invitation-only audience, Maiev appeared on-stage and accused Illidan of, "being more in love with that damned skull than with me" and of intentionally avoiding her.

Akama, also a member of FAGs and who played the role of the gravedigger in the performance, spoke with investigators and added to the eye-witness report, stating, "I got along with him professionally, but to be honest, all of Outland wanted to be free of Illidan. He has to be the worst actor any of us have ever seen and the biggest closet-case; he truly was a drama queen, what with the summoning of fire elementals, shooting blue fire out of his eyes, transforming into a demon... I mean, really. He was a total prima-donna."

When pressed for details, Akama revelaed that, "Maiev was just defending herself when Illidan pimp-slapped her -- like a girl -- for daring to interupt his performance, but she had every right to be upset; she thought they were going to get married and settle down, but had just found out he'd been having sexual relations with that damned skull. Even I got the creepy crawlies when I found out."

"Anyway, the fight quickly deteriorated, and the last words Illidan said -- which just prove he's a drama queen -- were, 'You have won...Maiev. But the huntress...is nothing without the hunt. You...are nothing...without me.'" Akama shook his head and sighed, "It's totally disgusting to see someone so self-centered that even his last words revolve entirely around his own inflated sense of self-importance. I'm surprised he didn't kiss the skull before breathing his last. I feel really sorry for Maiev."

Wanting to inquire about any possible investigation into what happened and whether any charges would be filed, this reporter approached a visibly shaken and saddened Peacekeeper Jadaar of the Shattrath City Police Department, who said, "I was a huge fan of Illidan's performances..." but quickly broke down and could only haltingly sob, "I'm... just... not... prepared... to deal with this."

Maiev Shadowsong is still at large and is wanted for questioning, though no charges have yet been filed. In a morbid turn of events, the 25 members of the invitation-only audience snapped this photograph with the famed actor's corpse, stating, "He wasn't able to finish his performance, and we feel we didn't get our money's worth. Besides, he's dead; we're some of the last people to have seen him alive; it'll be a great memento for us to share with future generations!"

Note: This post, non-politically-correct language included, was conceived and written by the guild's former GM, who is an out and proud queer in real life. Get over it.

Out of pure boredom from standing on a stage doing nothing day after day, the Illidari Council decided to exploit their venue and tap into their creativity, kicking off their first concert tonight in what was to be a tour and a tribute to their favorite Outlands rock band, KT and the Sunstrider Band. Unfortunately, in a tragic turn of events, they met the same fate as their idols when the night ended in disaster, and irony, as they opened their first tribute, "Enjoy Your Final Moments."

Details are sketchy, but it appears that a group of fans wanting to participate in the tribute rushed the stage as the song began.

Peacekeeper Jadaar of the Shattrath City Police Department said the evidence indicates that what transpired was eerily similar to the tragedy that befell the KT and the Sunstrider Band in the Tempest Keep Amphitheater.

"The ground is burned in several places, clearly from a fire; it would appear that the pyrotechnic display was set off prematurely, just like in Tempest Keep," Peacekeeper Jadaar said. "There are also puddles of water at various spots throughout the venue, indicating the fire suppression system -- installed after the Tempest Keep tragedy -- did go off, but based on the positioning of the corpses, it apparently wasn't enough to prevent a tragedy," he continued.

"We aren't ready to call this an accident yet, as every member of the band is missing their pants and it could be a mugging, but the majority of the evidence does support the conclusion that this was an accident and a tragedy, not a crime," Peacekeeper Jadaar said.

"The Medical Examiner's initial assessment is that they died from a deadly combination of smoke inhalation and physical wounds suffered when they fell down the stairs of the stage in an attempt to flee the fire," he continued. "We're thankful that none of the fans were injured, but as you know, the Black Temple has seen many tragedies lately, and our hearts go out to the community who has lost so many of their prominent leaders."

A spokesperson for Burning Legion Records, which put up the funds for the cover tour, said, "We are all just deeply shocked and saddened by this; we thought installing a gnomish fire-suppressant system would be enough to prevent a similar tragedy like what happened with KT, but we're seriously considering banning all indoor concerts from now on. These senseless deaths have to stop."

Meanwhile, the concert promoter, Ashtongue Akama, had this photo taken with the audience after the concert.